An epiphany.

Obviously, things have been rough for me. Between everything going on, it's been taking quite a toll on me.

So tonight, while I was driving 40 all the way home from work (I work 30 miles away, so obviously it took me quite awhile to get home), I was cursing the snow. I drive a Chevy Metro, so snow doesn't treat my already problematic car well. I was getting off my exit on I-75 as I was talking to Joni, when I got a phone call. Joni and I said bye, and I took my other call. Tyler asked me to go eat with him, so I told him I'd meet him.

I wear cloth Vans most of the time, and always to work, so I was cursing the snow more as it started filling the holes in my shoes, packing in the snow. My feet were cold, my hands andface were cold. I was just angry with the world. I noticed people building snow men, having snowball fights, and I didn't understand the joy they were taking in this awful condensation filling the campus.

So Tyler and I ate. I wasn't surprised I was feeling better already, Tyler has that effect on people (one of many reasons I try to keep him close). So we walked out together, and he left when we walked by the Jungle, where he lives. As I was walking through the snow, I started noticing how beautiful everything was. The trees, the apartments in the Village, the parked cars with icing. As I kept walking, I saw more snowmen. Suddenly I saw the makers for what they were. Children at heart. I started seeing the true beauty in what the snow was bringing out in them. They were having fun being small again, when snow brought new, exciting change, and a hope of snow days (which I think we're almost all hoping for, to bring us an extra long Thanksgiving break).

As I kept walking toward my apartment, I saw a girl looking at me, balling up some snow. As I predicted, she threw it at me, and it landed about five feet short from me. I simply laughed and said "Good effort!" She smiled and said "I didn't think you actually wanted to be hit." As she said this her friend bent over, and balled some more, and threw a much more accurate shot at my leg, which I managed to dodge. The three of us laughed again, and I kept walking, while they continued building their snowmen.

I love that for that moment in time, it didn't matter we didn't know each other. To be honest, had I had gloves on, I would have retaliated. Snow is bringing out the kids in everyone here, and I love that. For the first time since the first week of school, everyone seems stress-free. For this single night, we can relax, and enjoy the snow, and communally hope for that snow day tomorrow.

I finally realized why I'm in love with winter. This story alone is why.

Anxiety.

I have pretty severe anxiety problems sometimes.

It's pretty bad right now.

Probably won't be hearing much from me until the end of the semester.

Just wanted to check in quickly, let you know I'm still alive.

I'll be finishing up the semester in a little under a month. My birthday is in a couple weeks. If I do anything worthwhile (I rarely do on my birthday), I may post.

Love.

New job? Yes? Maybe?

I'm waiting to hear from American Eagle to see if they'd like to employ this kid.

Regardless, I'm working Black Friday night there.

Long story.

Sometimes life hands you just what you need.

Friday night when I got out of work, I had a few texts, a couple missed calls, a voicemail. A bit more than usual, but I usually have something of the like after 9 or 10 hour shifts.

One text struck me as strange. It said "What are you doing tonight?" from my friend Kyle, who lives in Grand Rapids. I hadn't seen Kyle since right after I moved to Indiana. I texted him back, telling him I wasn't doing anything, so he told me he'd call me, because he was at his parents' for the weekend (Bay City).

So Friday night we decided to go downtown in Saginaw to a bar, just to say we had, which was a bust. We met my friend Kristy, my old roommate Shelby, and their friend Josh in one of the lamest bars I've ever been in (not that I have a ton to compare it to). Last night we decided to hang out again, and try Bay City instead.

Then we decided to go to Midland to see our friend Tyler, since the three of us never get to see each other, especially all at once (which is funny, because Tyler and I work in the same food court at different restaurants). We decided to go to a bar, when we finally decided that bars are bad for conversation, and we just couldn't get into it, since none of us really drink that much.

So we went to the Tridge, mainly for old time's sake, since it's been so long since all three of us lived in Midland (Tyler's still there, Kyle went to Grand Rapids, I went to Indianapolis). Then went to our friend Jenny's apartment where we ran into a ton of people we knew from back when I lived in Midland.

The point is, though...things have been sucking for me. A messy break up isn't easy to deal with, and it seems like it just gets messier every weekend, and my friends either go home on weekends, or are commuters, so there's no one around.

Having Kyle here this weekend was amazing. I loved seeing him, and told him how much I had missed him about every ten minutes.

A final note: Cougars hang out in Bay City bars. Just a warning.

It's a beautiful fall day...

...For pumpkin cookies!




Attached to the cookies was a bill with a post-it attached that read:
I thought I would "spread" the wealth for the government decides to do it for me."

Ha ha.

Thanks, Aunt Carrie, for the cookies. They're delicious. I really love pumpkin.

Another video!?

Yaaay!





This is just too funny.